How to be real. Have you ever noticed when you ask someone how they are doing, the most common answer given is, “I’m doing good.” Especially when you meet someone casually for the first time. Maybe you are at the grocery store, running errands or at church, etc. I know when I’m asked this question there are times I want to respond, “This week sucked!” Can you imagine what the other person may be thinking at this point? They may say, “sorry to hear that” and walk away or maybe you might get to talk to someone who may take an interest in why your week was so terrible. Why is it that our automatic response is, “I’m good” or “It’s good.” Why can’t we let ourselves be a little vulnerable and say, “you know what, this week was hard” for XYZ reasons. I get we need to know who our audience is and I’m not saying we should go spill our guts to everyone we meet but for me, I would like to be a little more open. What if I meet someone who is going through a tough time who needs a listening ear. I may have never known unless I shared something I was going through, possibly making them feel a little more comfortable to want to share. This actually happened to me recently. I had a little retail therapy to prepare for my upcoming surgery. While I was checking out, I decided to make small talk with my cashier. I mentioned I was buying a couple of dresses for my first major surgery, a hysterectomy. The young lady took interest and mentioned she has had several surgeries since the age of 15 and may not be able to have children. If I had to take a guess, she may be around the age of 19 or 20 years old. The doctors are still trying to determine what may be causing her pain. I was blown away that she actually shared something so personal with me. No one else was in line behind me so we were able to have a small conversation. I felt so bad for her and hope the doctors can find what is wrong and help her. Sometimes people just need an outlet to get out what they are feeling. We can be that listening ear, give that caring response, speak from the heart or even share Jesus if you feel led.  

Let’s talk about Social Media. So many people post beautiful pictures of their family, friends, pets, food, places they travel where it gives the impression they have this happy perfect life. No one’s life is perfect. I’m not trying to be a downer here, but let’s be real… we all have our ups and downs. When I see these perfect posts I’ve thought, wow… I wish I had that. For all we know the person posting these beautiful pictures or videos are completely miserable. I can tell you right now, I’ve been that person that posts all happy things, I wasn’t always being completely real. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. I’m not promoting to air ALL of our dirty laundry on social media but if we are struggling, why couldn’t we reach out and ask for prayer, or talk to a friend who will give you encouragement. Why is it at times we feel like we have to hold it all in and keep it all together, what is it we are trying to prove? That we are strong women? If we show emotions will people mistake that for weakness? Are we afraid of what other people are going to think? We can be strong and still show emotion. If more women would be more open about what is really going on in their life, we could build more genuine friendships and encourage those who have their own struggles. No judgment, no shaming, just show love and encouragement.

Praying at a restaurant. Have you ever asked your server if you could pray for them? I have and I was terrified, lol! You never know if the person is going to say yes, reject you or what to expect. A few years ago my husband and I went to a restaurant with a pastor. Towards the end of our meal, the pastor asked the waitress if there was anything he could pray for her. Honestly, a part of me wanted to slip under the table and pretend I wasn’t there. I don’t like confrontation and I’ve never been in this situation before. To my surprise, the waitress was going through some pretty heavy stuff and she was so happy that we prayed with her right there at the table. I’m thinking, oh my gosh, is she going to get in trouble if her boss see’s her. I need to not worry so much, God is in control. I would have never thought to pray for someone at a restaurant. It was a very cool, impactful moment.

Friendships. Think of the women who are in your life. Are you being real with them? Are you being real with each other? If not, ask yourself why. What holds you back? Do you have that friend that you could say anything to them and they would still love you for you? Will they speak truth in your life? Are you speaking truth in their life? Are you having tough, deep or healthy conversations? I would encourage you to start having these convo’s. Start to have a positive impact on someone else’s life. Find thoughtful ways to bring joy to others. I like to send funny GIFs with a quick little message to say hello. Just knowing someone is thinking about you can brighten the day. Celebrate the good and the bad moments with each other. When I had my surgery, friends were dropping off flowers, little gifts at my door, making me food, sending encouraging text messages. It brought joy to my heart. Your kindness can be life changing.

Let’s be REAL. Can we please stop pretending everything is fine? All it takes is for us to open up, even just a little bit and you would be surprised what impact you may have in someone else’s life and the impact it may have in your own life. Ask someone how their day is going. Tell them how your day is going and just maybe you can start having those REAL conversations instead of a one liner… “I’m good.” Start building REAL friendships with women. Spread the love! 

Challenge: The next time a lady stranger asks you, “How are you today?” Be real with what you are comfortable sharing, big or small. It could be something as simple as saying you’re stressed with all these deadlines or saying today has been a bummer. You say what is on your heart. If you’re having a spectacular day, share it. 

Conversation ice breakers. You could ask them if they have anything fun planned later that day, week or for summer, fall, winter, spring, you get the idea… Take a personal interest in them. For example, I am a weather nerd, I love the weather!  So sometimes after I’ve asked how they are, I may say something like, have you seen the weather forecast? I’m so excited we may get some thunderstorms! Allow for them to respond. Say something simple about how your day or week has been, then ask “How about you?” See where the conversation takes you. If you encounter someone who doesn’t want to talk, it’s ok. Try again with someone else. Be genuine. 

Go Be Real! You Got This! 🙂  

Rachelle